The Quiet Art of Listening

The older I get, the more I realise that listening, really listening might be the most underrated skill we can teach our children.

Dear Leo,

Before I did what I do now, I was a personal trainer and a hopeful rugby player. Then I met your mum and things changed overnight. Suddenly I was thrust into TV, agents, PR and commercial deals. It was a tough adjustment and in truth, I didn’t really adjust, at least not at the time. It’s taken a lot of reflection to understand myself and what I can truly offer. Looking back, TV wasn’t for me, at least not the show we were on haha. It felt toxic, competitive, disingenuous, you never quite knew if you were coming or going with the people around you.

But here’s the point I’m trying to land. Out of all that, one adjustment I made has steered me right over the years: I realised that most people aren’t really listening.

Just pay attention sometime. Listen to someone on the phone, to conversations in a coffee shop, exchanges in the workplace, even dialogue between friends. Often it’s not a conversation at all, it’s just two people waiting for their turn to speak, broadcasting rather than listening.