Opposite the Hospital

This letter is about small wins, like sitting across from the hospital that once consumed me with fear, and realising time has softened its hold. What felt unbearable back then now feels lighter, proof that with distance comes clarity, strength, and perspective.

Dear Leo,

The Chelsea Westminster Hospital, a smidge over a mile away from our front door. It was always going to be the hospital where you were born. Despite it being so close, I mapped out different routes and timed the journey during different times of the day and night.

During the final few weeks of your mummy’s pregnancy, we were living in Grandpa Noisey’s flat in Pimlico (that’s what we call Louise’s dad because, well, he’s noisy). I have a video of your mum that I took on the drive to the hospital. It’s never surfaced on social media. Even though I was sat at a red light and the car wasn’t moving, I’m sure plenty of people would have passed comments on how I shouldn’t have my phone on me behind the wheel.

In the video I speak into the camera, turning the phone on myself whilst sitting at the red light. We were excited, nervous, couldn’t wait to meet you and just wanted you out in the safest way possible and quick. Little did we know that this was the start of a chapter in our lives that no amount of preparation could have steadied us for.